Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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