I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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