You made me cry and you don't even care
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
