Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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