I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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