I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
