yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm bleeding and have questions
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize