I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
