So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
