i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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