My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Randomize
