hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
