okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
