so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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