kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
