I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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