i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it because I queefed?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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