He is an equal opportunity slut.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize