I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
