Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
