so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
