so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
