so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize