Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
