I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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