I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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