and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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