I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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