her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
