It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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