Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
