Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
