Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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