OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my being single is dangerous.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
