Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
