it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize