so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
