turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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