My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
