Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
