just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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