Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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