I have demons in me.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize