I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
