...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
