Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
