That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
