please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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