So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize