Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
