Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
