hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
