I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
