I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
