At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
