i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
