Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
