We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
