apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
