I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize