just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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