Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
