Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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