Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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