remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
